Don't take it Interpersonal

Written by: Joshua Logan
Edited by: Julia Wolfe
Joboja Staff Writers

There are many interpersonal skills that anyone must have when they go about their day. Whether you’re picking up your dry cleaning or shopping for budget microwaveable meals at the local Jewel you deal with many people in your little world and understanding how to deal with them is clutch. It’s a god awful experience to talk with someone who doesn’t know how to or understand the complicated inter workings of conversing with another human being.

One of the sadist conflictions one can possess is not knowing or noticing when someone doesn’t want to talk to you or isn’t interested in the subject under discussion. If you can tell that the person you’re talking to isn’t enjoying your current conversation then you can change. You tailor what you say to the particular individual you’re speaking with, if that’s true than you’re alright. At the very least you’re aware. This is for those out there who for some reason or another can’t pick up on those subtle cues that say “I don’t care what you’re saying to me.” They just for some tragic twist of fate weren’t given that skill, and believe me tragic is an understatement. Some would argue that the listener of the conversation is the most harmed and I would agree.

I am currently in this predicament. Every Friday evening from nine pm to eleven thirty pm I constantly deal with a man who can’t tell that his hour long diatribes, which feel like repeated beatings to my groin region, about the ever detailed and ever complex world of the Marvel Movie franchise universe isn’t interesting to me. Your humble author sits with a goofy grin on his face for long periods of time, seemingly endless, learning about the writers, directors, production staff, writing complications, edits from originators of the characters and god knows what else of the marvel universe.

Now I’m not picking on Marvel or our cultures current fascination with super heroes and old comic book character movies, I actually like some of these movies, I’m picking on the fact that you should be able to tell that I don’t care nearly enough about this subject to talk of it into the ground. There are many ways I’ve tried to communicate my dissatisfaction with the talks without being harshly frank.

Here is the list of the tactics I’ve tried and so far all of them have failed to produce a desired result. I’ve darted my eyes back and forth while he talks, I’ve yawned several times during the course of these conversations, I’ve laughed out loud for no apparent reason (mainly at the hilarity of my situation) and I ask crazy unrelated questions. Now one I haven’t tried but will let you know how it goes is I’m going to start doing weird things with my hands and see if he notices (I’m talking about flapping my arms like wings here).

It wouldn’t be so bad if there were a chance I could escape but it’s an internship and I am forced to stand with this fellow for a period of time. Don’t you realize that a conversation is an exchange, a beautiful exchange of thoughts ideas and opinions? If there is no reciprocation than there is no conversation, you must be aware of how your audience is reacting to what you’re saying, how they’re feeling, and their mood. You don’t have to be a mind reader but this is basic stuff.

All I’m trying to say is that everyone should be able to tell when someone isn’t enjoying the current conversation. Is there a way, besides being overly direct, to help these people? Maybe you have to grin and bear it and revel in their favorite subject and labor of love that is the Marvel universe or whatever they are interested in.

Our time is over and I leave you to your day with this final possibility. Perhaps these people, these boring or crazy individuals are not conversationally inept. Perhaps they are hyper aware and so involved that upon the initial reaction of your uninterested expressions they decided to mess with your head. They could be playing the most deviant and droll of mind games. These people could be geniuses and this is how they get their kicks. Go to hell if that’s true. Stop screwing with my head you bastards. Good day.