"God Bless the Dream, the Dreamer and the Result." 

Friday, November 16, 2007

Lisa’s World

Written by:  Lisa

Edited by:  Julia Wolfe

Joboja Staff Writers

Welcome to my world! It’s so nice to have you here. Since we’re going to be spending a lot of time together each issue, I thought I’d give you some background and insight into who and what I am, and why my experiences in the dating world are worth reading about.


First I’ll tell you a bit about myself. I was born in New Jersey. Just kidding—we really aren’t going to go back that far.


I’m single, a 34-year-old woman living in South Florida. I’ve been down here for 31 years so it’s all I know. I fit several of the local stereotypes since I’m blonde, work out, drive a convertible, love the beach, and have a shoe habit. Some call it a problem. I call it a habit. 91 pairs aren’t too many, is it?


I’ll admit, I was that girl senior year of high school. Not a mean girl. Not the coolest girl either but I always had a boyfriend—who was in college. Ok, so it was Palm Beach Community College, but college is college. Several of my friends were jealous that I had a permanent date. We dated for 6 years, but he had a little problem being faithful and we broke up.


The universe took care of him though—the relationship he left me for didn’t work out at all and he paid dearly for it…literally.


Now we’re best friends. Love that universe; it does take care of itself.


Speed forward a couple of years, and a string of going nowhere dates, and you have my next serious relationship. That one lasted 3 ½ years, until I got tired of being yelled at, stood up all the time, called names, cheated on, etc.


That stuff can get on a girl’s nerves.


Two and a half years after ending the relationship, I had to have a judge tell him I meant it when I said I didn’t want anything to do with him.


The next guy and I had been friends since we were 8 years old. It was nearly perfect and everything I ever wanted, and it lasted a year. Until the day after the one-year anniversary of our first date.


He decided he didn’t want a relationship…and told me by text message. Yes, you read that right, a text message. Remember Carrie Bradshaw and the post-it note? That was me with the text message—for months.


He was lying, though, because less than 2 months later he had a new girlfriend. Less than 2 months into that relationship, she told him she was pregnant. Love the way the universe takes care of itself.

So I’ve seen and heard it all and now I’m going to share it with you. I’ve done the online dating, the blind dates, speed dating (now I actually host the parties), the bar hook-ups, the random meetings…you name it.


My guy friends say I’m every guy’s dream: I’m a girly girl, but I know more about football than most men do, and on Sundays from August to February, I refuse to be anywhere other than in front of a TV. Yet I’m still single.


I’ve had great dates, but let’s be honest, nobody wants to hear about those. I’ve also had some not-so-great dates—like the very nice man whose truck was so huge I was afraid I’d break an ankle getting in and out of it.


I’ve also had some dates that were pure hell—like the guy at the bar who wanted me to take my shoes off so he could see if I had nice feet.


Yep, he had a foot fetish.


When I ditched him later that night, he screamed at me and demanded his tip back from the bartender, who happened to be a friend of mine. My friend still laughs and tells his customers about that night.


One guy wanted to plan our entire lives a few hours after we met. Like I said—I’ve seen it all and now I’m going to be sharing it with you.            


I should warn you that occasionally my world gets a little sick and sarcastic, otherwise my current dating situation would be depressing.


I live in a multi-cultural and very transient part of the country. It can be hard to figure out who’s local (which I call the Home team), and who’s a tourist (the Away team).


You know those nights when you go out with your friends expecting one type of a night —and come home with a whole different experience? Well, that’s my world. I don’t try. It just shows up.


Come with me as I work my way through the local dating jungle and enjoy the details of my single life!

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