Modern Technology vs. Dating

Written by: Lisa
Edited by: Sharon Estill
Joboja Staff Writers

Has modern day technology made dating more complicated and impersonal? I'm starting to think that it has. In this age of instant communication a whole new set of problems and issues come up. Most of us have access to cell phones, fax machines and multiple email addresses on a daily basis. It’s out with the old dating rules and in with the new ones.

For example, no longer can you give a man a fake phone number. Women used to use this technique to make a man go away when she really wasn't interested in him. He would be satisfied that he got somewhere with you and move on leaving you and your friends to enjoy the rest of the night. Now, when you give a man your phone number he instantly takes out his cell and puts it in. Then the new technique is to instantly call the number to see if your cell rings. Some will come right out and say that they are checking to see that it's a real number but most say it's so that you now have his number. This whole situation can be a bit embarrassing if you gave a fake number.

Another issue is the old excuse of "I just didn't have time to call you". Please. There's no way anyone can believe that in this day and age. Yes, we are all extremely busy. However, how many times have you walked down Atlantic Avenue and all you see sitting at the sidewalk tables are people on their cells or sending messages from their phones? We are a society addicted to instant communication, hence the term, "Crackberry." If you have time to drive from one place to another, you have time to make a quick call to let someone know you are interested. If for some reason that doesn't work out for you, there is always the ever popular text message or email. In fact, text messaging has become so popular that I recently learned it is the new way to end a relationship too. (We won't get into my thoughts on that one though!!) What it comes down to is if someone's not getting in touch with you one way or another, it's because they just don't want to, not because they are too busy.

Online dating has also created its own problems. If you look at the profiles of online daters, they pretty much answer all of the "getting to know you" questions. Doesn't leave much for the first few conversations, however, it does get right to the point. You can see right on the spot if the person has the qualities that you are looking for. This is good because, again, we are busy and don't like to waste time. The only problem is that it's all via email, which can be a little impersonal. Most online daters are reluctant to give their phone number to someone they meet online because after all, you don't have a clue what you are dealing with. What if the person is a serial killer or something? I was even told once by a male friend that he would never ask for the phone number of someone who had a profile online because if she's there, she must have issues or be desperate. He told me this after he had found a girl online that he thought was attractive. He found her when she came up as a good match on the site where he had his own online profile. Exactly! I'm still trying to understand that one. Unfortunately, this is a common reaction to modern technology by both men and women.

Here's what I suggest to both sexes. Ladies, if you don’t hear from that hottie who asked for your number within a reasonable amount of time (and this varies for everyone), let it go. Go back to City Limits and see what you meet this time. If he wanted to talk to you again, he would have found 30 seconds at some point to get in touch with you. Gentlemen, if you are addicted to your "Crackberry", PDA, cell phone, etc. put it down for a minute and go talk to the smokin' hot babe across the bar. Trust me on this one: no stupid lines, no exchange of email addresses, just actual conversation. Try the old fashioned approach and talk to her. I had a guy use this tactic last Friday night at the Hard Rock and it worked. I'll be seeing him for drinks tomorrow night. I wonder if he's in my network or if I can put him on my buddy list.