Public Service Announcement to all Men

Written by: Lisa Minns
Edited by Kate Kliner
Joboja Staff Writers

It’s that time of year again, and romance is in the air. Hallmark has been letting us all know for months that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Hearts and roses have been popping up in stores for months. This can bring on many emotions for those of us in the single world. It can make us hopeful that romance really is still alive and kicking. Or it can also be a sad reminder that they are not coupled up for that one special day. For the men in particular, it can bring on full blown anxiety attacks because he may just not be too into the girl he’s seeing and he knows she expects a big, expensive and romantic production or because he realizes just how into her he actually is and has decided that it’s time to pop that all important question. No, not “where are we going to dinner." The one about the life long commitment that involves a ring. This can be a very exciting time of year for some couples. Valentine’s Day is right up there with Christmas and New Year’s Eve for a number of proposals. I’m all for this, but way too many recent experiences with men have lead me to believe that there are a few things that some men just aren’t aware of before they take this step. So, for those that never got the memo, I’m going to take the time to put out a public service announcement to all men. Yes, I do realize that most men reading this just saw the phrase “put out” and they are still smiling over it. It’s okay, have your fun. I’ll wait.

Back with me? Good. Let’s start with what most women consider the biggest and most obvious thing that men need to know before asking that all important life altering question…once you go there, you stop dating! Yes, you read right. If you ask a woman to marry you, you stop dating other women. That is true not only for the engagement period but also for the marriage. The entire marriage. Really, there isn’t a loophole here. Women are reading this with a big huge “duh,” but I swear this is necessary to say. There is an entire community of men out there that seem to believe that it’s okay to continue to pursue other women even though they are engaged or married. It even seems to be broken up into three groups. One believes that it's okay as long as the other woman and his fiancé/wife don’t know each other, and then there is the group that believes it's okay as long as the fiancé/wife doesn’t know about the other women, and then there's the group that believes it's okay if the other women are not aware that he has a fiancé/wife. I’m here to say that it’s not okay. Really, I swear, when you put that ring on her finger, you are supposed to be done dating. In fact, I believe there’s something in the vows about forsaking all others. I know, there are women who are just as bad but I don’t get hit on by them so that's really not for me to comment on right now.

The next issue is the old zip code/area code rule. It’s not real! Some men that I’ve encountered not only think that it is real but have convinced themselves that somewhere in a land far, far away where all of the rules to live by are actually written down and kept in a magical vault that the zip code/area code rule really exists. In case you haven’t heard of this before, the mythological rule goes like this: if you are in a relationship and are a certain distance from either your home zip code or area code then anything you may say or do does not count. This acceptable distance seems to vary from person to person but the idea is the same. On behalf of all women out there, yes, it does count. I’ve met many people who actually tried to use that excuse on their significant others and then ended up hiring divorce lawyers. It really does count. Everything counts. If she was the one outside of her home turf, anything she may do is going to count in your mind. Living here in South Florida, we single ladies encounter a lot of traveling businessmen. You would not believe how many will actually tell me that they are only in town for a couple of days so why not go for it? I give them the option to hear the list of reasons not to go for it in either alphabetical order or order of importance. They then blame their thought process on the tropical climate and that it reminds them of being on vacation. No thank you. Not gonna go there.

This takes me to my next issue… flirty text messages and phone calls with random women should be out of your system. You would not believe how many of these come my way. Now you are asking how they got my number in the first place. That’s simple, they failed to tell me that they were committed to someone else when asking for it. One guy I found out was engaged when a random customer congratulated him on it. Yep, judging by the look on his face I think if the ground could have opened up and swallowed him whole he would have been thankful. Keep in mind that I had met him a couple of months before and he asked me out then as well. The whole inconvenience of being engaged hasn’t slowed him down though. He still spent a few days continuing to ask me out… complete with naked picture messages and requests for some in return. He didn’t get any. That really should stop once you put a ring on someone’s finger. His explanation was that in today’s world, you just never know if something will work out so you need to keep your options open and there’s no harm in messing around. I told him that his fiancé would most likely disagree. I actually saw him and his fiancé in a bar one night. He’s lucky that I don’t think the situation is worth the effort for me to get involved in. She’ll find out one day what he’s all about. Karma is a bitch.

So guys, what have we learned here? No, it’s not to make better choices when it comes to the women you choose to mess around with or to make sure to pick the intelligence deprived women as your ones on the side. It’s that if you aren’t sure about the one you are giving the ring to, don’t do it! You have to stop dating other women, stop sending half naked picture texts to other women, don’t ask for other women’s phone numbers, and even when you travel, you still are only committed to your fiancé/wife. On behalf of all single women out there, we are tired of being hit on by engaged and married men. You’ve already proven that you would cheat so why would we want you for ourselves? So, if this lifestyle doesn’t sound like something you want to commit to, then don’t buy the ring. Please, just stick to dating and for Valentine’s Day, buy the roses and take her out to dinner. Give her the romantic night she is hoping for; just don’t end it with a ring. If you need restaurant suggestions, let me know. I highly recommend Sapporissimo’s. I’ll help you plan a night for her she will never forget and it won’t end up in divorce court. This has been a public service announcement from the Simply Single Lisa Broadcasting Company.
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