Written by Bob Rehak
Edited by: Sharon Estill
Joboja Staff Writers
From what I can tell, Hell didn't freeze over on New Year's Eve when the clock struck midnight, heralding Illinois' greatest law ever introduced: the smoking ban.
In fact, I’ll take last week's warm spell as a sign that God approves, too. (Hey, do you really think that He has a box of Camels rolled up in the sleeve of his really, really white t-shirt?).
Maybe the warm weather last week wasn't global warming after all. Maybe it was due to a giant cloud of haze being lifted, due to all the smokers who have been forced to cut down to one pack a day. Maybe the sun was there all the time; it was just blocked by the Marlboro Man (and Woman).
Obviously, I approve of the smoking ban. I approve of it the same way I approve of a helmet law. I call them anti-Darwin laws. Both the smoking ban and the helmet laws are designed to save the lives of the stupid people.
Smokers and motorcyclists are cut from the same cloth. Ask a smoker why he started smoking: because it looked cool. Did it taste good? Not at first, but once I stopped coughing and learned how to fill my lungs with toxins without choking, I looked really cool. I can even make smoke rings!
Ask a motorcyclist why he refuses to wear a helmet: because he looks cool without one. Is it safe to drive 50 miles an hour without a helmet? No, but I can feel the wind in my hair and feel SO free! It's like it's just you and the open road and you don't have a care in the world, and…….yeah, I get your point. I have a dog that has those same thoughts every time she gets in the car.
Now ask a man with emphysema, breathing through a machine, if he still thinks smoking is cool. Ask a motorcyclist who refused to wear a helmet and was in an accident on a highway if he looked cool right before his head hit the asphalt.
While I applaud the smoking ban in Illinois, it wasn't exactly our idea. California has been smoke-free since 1998. New York has been smoke-free since 2003. Entire countries went smoke-free before Illinois did. England has been free of indoor smoke since last July.
And before you start worrying about bars and restaurants closing their doors for good due to a smoke-free environment, consider this:
A survey by the Campaign for Real Ale projected England's 6.2 million regular drinkers are likely to go out to pubs and bars more often. The survey also found that 840,000 people who currently do not go to the pub said they would do so after the ban went into effect. (Unfortunately, the smoke-free environment will not make shepherd's pie taste any better).
The news gets even better for states that saw the light(ers) before we did. As of 2006, New York City had 19 percent fewer adult smokers than it did in 2002, according to a study by the Centers for Disease Control. That translates to 240,000 fewer adult smokers among New York City residents — and an estimated 80,000 lives saved over time.
While I applaud Illinois for realizing that smoking kills (and makes your clothes stink every time you go out to eat, even if you don't smoke), Illinois is still helmet-free.
There are only two other states that are also completely helmet-free: Iowa and New Hampshire. Look, if 47 out of 50 of your friends tell you that sticking a pen in your eye is harmful, are you still going to insist on doing it just because it would look really cool? If 47 out of 50 states enact a law for the safety of its citizens, don't you think there's some merit to it?
Admittedly, I have been stupid in the past. Illinois made me put on a seat belt five years ago, and I've been wearing one ever since. But before that? I was ridin' commando, careening down the Eisenhower like a toy Army man riding on a Hot Wheels car.
So let's keep up the good work, Illinois. We've saved the drivers and the smokers. Now let's save the motorcyclists. What's left of them.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
A Ban on Stupidity
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10 comments:
Another briliiant commentary by this guy. Great stuff. I agree. Maybe it's the cigarette smoke that's been blocking out the sun.
The smoking ban is great and it is Anti-Darwin. I just wonder if the thinning of the herd via smoking and people who don't wear helmets is somehow environmentally friendly in the long run.
Having worked in the health care field, I have to agree that there are terrible costs to smoking and riding bikes without protection. I've seen some very sad outcomes- including the death of a friend's son when his motorcycle was hit by a truck. She is a nurse and he wasn't wearing a helmet. He might not have survived even had he worn one, but it broke her heart that he gave up that chance.
Wow- sticking your neck out on this one. I wholeheartedly agree...and got a few laughs out of this, too. I like the comparison between the biker and the dog. At least dogs are generally smart enough to ride in the back seat of a car- not on a bike without a helmet....and going out is SO much nicer now that you don't have to inhale someone else's exhaust with your salad.
Good column. I'm gonna go smoke...
Wearing seatbelts is a law?
I miss the first kiss
The taste of beer and ashtray
The smell of menthol.
Although the ban on smoking is positive for many reasons, I still have to be Ms. Negative pants. I wonder how long it will take for the bars/restaurants to figure out that many of the smoking sections continue to nauseate those of us that never smoked. I still want to sit in the non-smoking section. I prefer not to sit under those air filters that never worked and are still an eye sore. I don't want to have to air myself out after dinner because I sat in the old smoking section. The residual smog is there. And no, Febreeze and opening a window is not a great solution.
i have good news for you miss negative pants (if that is your real name!) the bars and restaurants can't have smoking sections anymore.
as a smoker i do not care that i am inconvenienced by this law, i think it is totally logical and i would have voted for it myself.
the only thing i take exception to is not being able to smoke in bars. a bar is not applebees, you're not going to take your kids there, and chances are if you are there you're already engaging in one vice already.
everywhere else, there's not a damn reason smoking should be allowed.
I don't smoke, but having many smoker friends, I believe bars should be able to have separate smoking rooms. The fumes don't get out so much. However, Colorado even eliminated the smoking rooms some time ago.
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