"God Bless the Dream, the Dreamer and the Result." 

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Anatomy of a Bad Date

Written by: Lisa Minns
Edited by Kate Kliner
Joboja Staff Writers

While I have a good time being single, as we all know it’s not an easy road to navigate out there when it comes to dating. They don’t call it a jungle for nothing. Every now and then the universe decides to have a sense of humor and remind me of this. Last Friday was one of those nights. Started out kind of bumpy but not too bad, then got better, then turned into one of the worst dates I’ve ever had… and I’ve had some pretty bad ones. I’m going to try to share with you my experience for several reasons: 1) so single women out there know that they are not alone when it comes to bad dates, 2) so single men can use it as a “what not to do” manual and 3) for your pure entertainment. So, brace yourself because this is a doozy.

The man I was going with on the date in question seemed very nice when I met him two nights earlier. He was good looking, seemed intelligent, had a nice group of friends, was very polite and respectful all night, all the things you tend to evaluate when you first meet someone. Yes, I met him in a bar and yes, I do have a friend who is constantly telling me that you never meet anything good in a bar but he seemed nice so I talked to him. Yes, Harlan, I know, I promise I will catch on and learn my lesson soon. I tend to talk to everyone, it’s just part of my nature. That whole “don’t talk to strangers” thing that my parents taught me just didn’t stick into adulthood. So, after hanging out with this man and his friends I gave him my number. He followed up after I left the bar to make sure I was home safe. It was a nice gesture. We made plans to go out two nights later.

The next day came and more text messages came as well. Thought it was kind of strange that he mostly only texted as opposed to calling but hey, this is 2008. Technology rules. Plus, he has a fancy new iphone that he felt the need to show everyone who came near him. Anywho, the day of the date came. More texts making plans for dinner. Said he would call later and we could finalize the details. In the meantime, my friends were all going to Neighborhood Sports Grill in Boca for a party and to watch the FAU game. Being a FAU alumni, I really wanted to watch with them. My date called and said he was running late and would call when he was done working. I decided that since Neighborhood was in his area, I would go meet my friends until he was ready and then he could meet me there. Kind of hoped that he would be happy his date was asking to stay and watch a football game instead of some stuffy restaurant (his words, not mine). No such luck. He met me but he couldn’t wait to get out of there. It was the first date, I gave it the benefit of the doubt and went along with it.

The night went on and we went to a couple of places that had live music. Things were going well overall but looking back on it, a flag went up all night long that I should have paid attention to. While the conversation flowed easily and at a constant rate, he made it a point to know that he disagreed with absolutely everything I said and that he was right about everything and my opinion didn’t matter. For example: Did you all know that Wilma was not a real hurricane and those of us in South Florida have no idea what it’s like to go through a storm? Yep, that’s what he said because after all, he went through Charlie. I agreed that was a terrible storm but I have to say that Wilma, Andrew, Ivan, Frances, Jeanne, etc weren’t much fun either. This was all minor though to how the date ended. Get ready because here comes the good part.

At our last stop, there was a woman seated at the bar near us who had a very large Chanel purse. This is where the date disaster began. I know, you are confused. I was there and I’m still confused. The purse seemed to really offend him for reasons I still don’t know. He started yelling about how wrong it was to carry a $600 purse (this one that he was talking about cost way more than that but whatever). He went on and on about it. I asked how a stranger’s purse had any effect on his life or our date and he just kept yelling. I started laughing because it was just so absurd. I thought maybe I was missing something until I saw the strange and scared look the bartender gave him. He kept telling me that it wasn’t about the purse but yet kept yelling about it. When he started yelling about me and a $600 purse I lost it and yelled back. I felt pretty confident that I would still be able to sleep at night even though a stranger had an expensive purse. He told me that if I didn’t start showing him respect he was going to walk out. Yeah, exactly. He stayed though and made that threat two more times. I decided that I’d had enough and walked out first. I also told my bouncer friend that if he saw the guy try to follow me to come help me. I’m still confused about what got him so angry in the first place.

So, single men of America, this should be a pretty easy lesson to learn. Don’t pay attention to what strangers have and don’t yell at your dates. It just doesn’t give the woman that warm fuzzy feeling we like to get on dates. I’m thinking that it’s a bad date when the girl is literally running to her car in high heels like I was. However, he did text me a week later so see what I was up to. No, I didn’t go out with him again. He told me it was my loss. Somehow, I’m ok with my decision and not really feeling a sense of loss. Things were going so well that night of the first date and then went so bad so quickly. Now, I don’t think that all dates are bad and I normally give it two dates before I make a decision on someone. There could be first date jitters, nerves, getting to know each other, etc. So, if there are any guys out there who would want a girl who wants to stay and watch football, let me know. For the rest of you, please do not yell at your dates. Ladies, if you have a bad date story, know that you are not alone. I’m going to keep on dating and I promise that if I have a fabulous first date story, you will be the first to hear about it.
Still searching for The One? Sometimes it takes time…even up to 4 minutes. RSVP to a HurryDate party today at www.hurrydate.com. Visit me at www.myspace.com/lisahurrydateboca.

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