Anatomy of a Bad Date

Written by: Lisa Minns
Edited by Kate Kliner
Joboja Staff Writers

While I have a good time being single, as we all know it’s not an easy road to navigate out there when it comes to dating. They don’t call it a jungle for nothing. Every now and then the universe decides to have a sense of humor and remind me of this. Last Friday was one of those nights. Started out kind of bumpy but not too bad, then got better, then turned into one of the worst dates I’ve ever had… and I’ve had some pretty bad ones. I’m going to try to share with you my experience for several reasons: 1) so single women out there know that they are not alone when it comes to bad dates, 2) so single men can use it as a “what not to do” manual and 3) for your pure entertainment. So, brace yourself because this is a doozy.

The man I was going with on the date in question seemed very nice when I met him two nights earlier. He was good looking, seemed intelligent, had a nice group of friends, was very polite and respectful all night, all the things you tend to evaluate when you first meet someone. Yes, I met him in a bar and yes, I do have a friend who is constantly telling me that you never meet anything good in a bar but he seemed nice so I talked to him. Yes, Harlan, I know, I promise I will catch on and learn my lesson soon. I tend to talk to everyone, it’s just part of my nature. That whole “don’t talk to strangers” thing that my parents taught me just didn’t stick into adulthood. So, after hanging out with this man and his friends I gave him my number. He followed up after I left the bar to make sure I was home safe. It was a nice gesture. We made plans to go out two nights later.

The next day came and more text messages came as well. Thought it was kind of strange that he mostly only texted as opposed to calling but hey, this is 2008. Technology rules. Plus, he has a fancy new iphone that he felt the need to show everyone who came near him. Anywho, the day of the date came. More texts making plans for dinner. Said he would call later and we could finalize the details. In the meantime, my friends were all going to Neighborhood Sports Grill in Boca for a party and to watch the FAU game. Being a FAU alumni, I really wanted to watch with them. My date called and said he was running late and would call when he was done working. I decided that since Neighborhood was in his area, I would go meet my friends until he was ready and then he could meet me there. Kind of hoped that he would be happy his date was asking to stay and watch a football game instead of some stuffy restaurant (his words, not mine). No such luck. He met me but he couldn’t wait to get out of there. It was the first date, I gave it the benefit of the doubt and went along with it.

The night went on and we went to a couple of places that had live music. Things were going well overall but looking back on it, a flag went up all night long that I should have paid attention to. While the conversation flowed easily and at a constant rate, he made it a point to know that he disagreed with absolutely everything I said and that he was right about everything and my opinion didn’t matter. For example: Did you all know that Wilma was not a real hurricane and those of us in South Florida have no idea what it’s like to go through a storm? Yep, that’s what he said because after all, he went through Charlie. I agreed that was a terrible storm but I have to say that Wilma, Andrew, Ivan, Frances, Jeanne, etc weren’t much fun either. This was all minor though to how the date ended. Get ready because here comes the good part.

At our last stop, there was a woman seated at the bar near us who had a very large Chanel purse. This is where the date disaster began. I know, you are confused. I was there and I’m still confused. The purse seemed to really offend him for reasons I still don’t know. He started yelling about how wrong it was to carry a $600 purse (this one that he was talking about cost way more than that but whatever). He went on and on about it. I asked how a stranger’s purse had any effect on his life or our date and he just kept yelling. I started laughing because it was just so absurd. I thought maybe I was missing something until I saw the strange and scared look the bartender gave him. He kept telling me that it wasn’t about the purse but yet kept yelling about it. When he started yelling about me and a $600 purse I lost it and yelled back. I felt pretty confident that I would still be able to sleep at night even though a stranger had an expensive purse. He told me that if I didn’t start showing him respect he was going to walk out. Yeah, exactly. He stayed though and made that threat two more times. I decided that I’d had enough and walked out first. I also told my bouncer friend that if he saw the guy try to follow me to come help me. I’m still confused about what got him so angry in the first place.

So, single men of America, this should be a pretty easy lesson to learn. Don’t pay attention to what strangers have and don’t yell at your dates. It just doesn’t give the woman that warm fuzzy feeling we like to get on dates. I’m thinking that it’s a bad date when the girl is literally running to her car in high heels like I was. However, he did text me a week later so see what I was up to. No, I didn’t go out with him again. He told me it was my loss. Somehow, I’m ok with my decision and not really feeling a sense of loss. Things were going so well that night of the first date and then went so bad so quickly. Now, I don’t think that all dates are bad and I normally give it two dates before I make a decision on someone. There could be first date jitters, nerves, getting to know each other, etc. So, if there are any guys out there who would want a girl who wants to stay and watch football, let me know. For the rest of you, please do not yell at your dates. Ladies, if you have a bad date story, know that you are not alone. I’m going to keep on dating and I promise that if I have a fabulous first date story, you will be the first to hear about it.
Still searching for The One? Sometimes it takes time…even up to 4 minutes. RSVP to a HurryDate party today at www.hurrydate.com. Visit me at www.myspace.com/lisahurrydateboca.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!

I'm Luggin It

Holy daring proposal Batman!

Written by: Robert O'Connor
Edited by: Kate Kliner
Joboja Staff Writers

This past week I was at my local dollar store, buying a cheap pair of headphones because I’m too thrifty to buy a pair at radio shack. I noticed off to the side of the front counter there was a shelf of books for sale. I wasn’t interested in any of them; they were all romance novels or airport novels. But it got me thinking about mass market fiction.

Bill Cosby, in his comedy album When I was a Kid, describes going to a movie serial every Saturday to watch his hero Buck Jones. He says kids don’t watch movie serials anymore because they have TV. Indeed, there are many kinds of media that have been supplanted by newer forms of media. But that shelf of books reminded me of one kind of entertainment that doesn’t really have a modern form today: Pulp magazines. They’re one of my odd obsessions.

I can imagine back in the 30’s when kids would go to their local general store and buy the latest issue of their favorite magazine for 15 cents. Adventure, Argosy, Action Stories, Western Stories, Black Mask, Weird Tales, Amazing Stories, all of them came out once a month or so. Inside were tales of action, horror and adventure, complemented by artwork and the promise of more in the next issue.

It’s arguable that comic books were the pulp magazine’s successor, but I’m skeptical of this. Comic books deal with the adventures of one character, like Spider Man or Batman. With pulp magazines, characters sometimes reappeared, but not always. Also, comic book publishers have had some rules as to what can and cannot appear in comics since the 1950's, while pulp magazines were much looser. Some of the original Conan the Barbarian stories feature graphic violence and nudity.

Imagine today if there were still pulp magazines; If graphic stories were still being published by the masses and sold to kids in supermarkets. On the one hand, concerned organizations might pressure the magazines to tone down, but on the other hand lots of kids would be reading. They’d be reading material written for them, sharing their fascinations and treating them like intelligent human beings.

One of the things that irritates me about children’s literature is how careful it is. How authors must subtly educate their readers about important things and how authors skip over potentially risky topics. And when they deal with risky topics, it’s almost like they are writing in order to say to the parents “see? I’ve done the right thing.” Maybe all of us could talk to kids like they were intelligent and they’d become intelligent.

Everyone gripes and complains about how kids today don’t read as much as they used to, with TV, movies, video games and the internet entertaining them instead. Maybe one reason that kids don’t read as much is because stories written today for them don’t speak to them. Help! There are Liberals under My Bed!, despite its labeling as a “children’s book” is not written for children. Neither is Why Mommy is a Democrat, Kids are Americans Too or The Hot House Flowers. No, these books are written for parents who are worried that their kids might think for themselves and not agree with them when they are old enough to understand politics. That and the authors want money.

So, I propose an experiment. Let’s bring back pulp magazines. Let’s bring back exciting stories every month. Let’s bring back the day when novels were published one chapter a month, with people waiting in anticipation to buy the next issue to see what happened (it worked with Harry Potter). Let’s bring back books for children that speak to them intelligently and see what happens to the literacy rate.

Creative Account Manager - Chicago, IL

Position: Creative Account Manager
Reports to: Director, Client Services – East Coast
Location: Chicago, IL

About Eyeblaster:
Eyeblaster is the global leader in integrated digital marketing services and technology. Its powerful, yet easy to use suite of products allows the creation, delivery, management and tracking of interactive communications that deliver meaningful results. Eyeblaster has been offering digital innovations since 1999. The company has headquarters in New York, and offices in Amsterdam, Barcelona, Beijing, Cape Town, Chicago, Detroit, Guangzhou, Hamburg, Houston, Kuala Lumpur, Milan, London, Los Angeles, Paris, San Francisco, Sao Paolo, Sydney, Taipei and Tokyo with research & development facilities in Israel. For more information, please visit www.eyeblaster.com.

Job Description:
The Creative Account Manager provides daily support to Creative Shops while utilizing his/her Flash, ActionScript and technical knowledge to monitor the creation and execution of Eyeblaster campaigns. The ideal candidate will not only have hands on knowledge of Flash and ActionScript, but also be able to balance multiple tasks simultaneously while providing a high level of service.
Duties include:

Providing daily support to users of the Eyeblaster online platform on a wide variety of technical and creative issues, on the phone and in person and via email
Introduce the Eyeblaster Platform to new clients and conduct new and refresher training sessions, in person and on the phone.
Open, organize and maintain clients accounts
Supporting Eyeblaster sales throughout the sales cycle
Introducing and educating clients to new Eyeblaster products, features, and best practices

Qualifications:
At least 2 years of experience in the online advertising industry
3 years experience working with Flash programming
Good knowledge of HTML, Java Script and other popular Internet tools
Able to master new technologies in short periods of time
Highly motivated, resourceful and intelligent
Highly independent
Able to manage multiple projects and clients at the same time
Excellent communication skills with particular attention to detail

To apply, please submit your resume/inquiry to https://home.eease.com/recruit/?id=31220.

For a list of additional opportunities, please visit our website at www.eyeblaster.com.

Eyeblaster offers…Competitive Salary; Quarterly Bonus based on performance; Stock Options; Full Medical; Dental; Vision; Life with AD/D; STD/LTD; 401(k) with company match; Tuition Reimbursement; Pre-Tax Commuter and FSA benefits

Eyeblaster also offers other fringe benefits and perks, including once a week morning breakfast, monthly employee mixers, entertainment events, discounted movie tickets, as well as training and development programs. Moreover, Eyeblaster offers a casual business culture and fun-challenging projects to work on!

Applications Specialist

The National Association of REALTORS®, “The Voice for Real Estate,” and America’s largest trade association involved in all aspects of the residential and commercial real estate industries, representing 1.3 million members (including NAR’s institutes, societies and councils) is seeking an Applications Specialist who will report directly to the Manager of Enterprise Applications in the ITS department. This individual will be responsible for the following:
Analyze applications and their issues to come up with fixes and enhancements, based on user input. Prepare documentation for code being created and for all testing and for procedures that need to be followed. Maintain/enhance technical expertise by joining organizations, attending seminars and training. Gather business and user needs, objectives and features, etc. Test applications and troubleshoot user issues.
The ideal candidate will possess a Bachelor’s degree (preferred not required), and a minimum of two years computer programming experience. Java, SQL required; HTML, PL/SQL and SPRING/HIBERNATE a plus. Must be able to handle multiple projects and prioritize. He/she will be outgoing, a team player with ability to work and think independently.

The NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS® is the most influential real estate organization in the world. We offer a rewarding and challenging work environment along with a competitive salary and excellent benefits package. Some of our fantastic benefits include: an on-site fitness center; flexible Fridays; on-site masseuse (employee pays at discounted rate); vacation, sick and personal days effective as of Day 2 of employment (prorated); tuition assistance and 401(k) eligibility enrollment as of Day 2; and Employer Assisted Housing, if eligible, to name just a few.

Please submit your resume, along with a cover letter stating salary requirements to Human Resources: HRJob07@realtors.org EOE

Full Time Service Representative (Teller) - 37622

Harris N.A., the leading U.S. subsidiary of the Bank of Montreal, is one of the largest community bank networks with over $40 billion in assets and more than 200 branches in Chicago, the suburbs as well as Central and Northwest Indiana. We are deeply committed to a high-performance culture – one that values diversity, continuous learning, employee commitment and community involvement – while providing incentives, rewards and advancement opportunity for service quality.

Isn’t it time you take your career to the only banking network with LION POWER?

Seeking a Service Representative (Teller) for our Westchester location.

As a high performing team member of Harris, the Service Representative (Teller) is accountable for delivering superior customer service in performing a variety of basic banking services. The Service Representative is also accountable for referring customers to Personal Bankers and other banking groups and reaching monthly referral goals.

The qualified candidate will be expected to develop customer relationships and make sound transactional decisions to ensure policies and directives are met. This individual will have the ability to accurately understand and respond appropriately when interacting with customers, co-workers, and management. We prefer one year of cash handling experience in the financial services industry or a minimum six months cash handling experience. We require a High School Diploma or GED equivalent or actively in pursuit of a High School Diploma or GED.

Schedule: Monday-Friday and Saturday.

We reward our talented professionals with a competitive compensation package, life, health, dental, 401(k), pension, paid vacation and holidays, EAP, free banking privileges and an exceptional working environment.

To explore this opportunity to join Harris N.A., visit our website and apply for position #37622 at www.harrisbank.com EOE, M/F/D/V.

District Loss Prevention Investigator - Marshalls

Marshalls Law #162: Opportunity is in store for you! At Marshalls, our growth is creating exciting opportunities for motivated professionals every day. Here, you'll find professional advancement, individual recognition and even time for a life outside of work! Marshalls offers brand name family apparel, giftware, home fashions and accessories. Marshalls also offers expanded footwear assortments for the entire family. The only thing better than shopping at Marshalls is working at Marshalls! Plus you can feel good knowing you are part of the largest off-price retail companies in the world, TJX. The TJX Companies, Inc. is the world's largest off-price retailer, and is comprised of: T.J. Maxx, Marshalls, HomeGoods, A.J. Wright and Bob's Stores in the United States, Winners and HomeSense in Canada and T.K. Maxx in Europe. With over $17 billion in revenues, eight businesses, more than 2,300 stores, and close to 120,000 Associates, success is always in style at TJX.

We currently have the following position available:Put your career in motion, with Marshalls! As one of the nation's leading off-price retailers, our growth is creating exciting opportunities for motivated professionals every day. Here, you'll find professional growth,individual recognition, and even time for a life outside of work! Plus, as a part of the flagship division of The TJX Companies, Inc., we offer all the success and stability that comes with being part of a $15 billion industry leader.

We currently have the following position available in Chicago, IL (Mount Prospect, Orland Park, Downers Grove, Schaumburg, Arlington Heights, Streamwood, Bolingbrook, Naperville, Geneva, Crystal Lake, Bettendorf, IA):

District Loss Prevention Investigator

Responsibilities:
Manage the internal theft program in a market of high-volume retail store locations.
Utilize exception reports, surveillance, and employee tips to generate cases.
Work with outside agencies i.e. police, courts, and legal to bring cases to resolution.
Teach fact finding/investigation techniques to LP Associates.
Partner with District/Store Management to build LP awareness.

Qualifications
Two plus years as a LP investigator/LP manager in a retail environment.
Familiarity with progressive Loss Prevention and Shrink reduction strategies.
The proven ability to partner with District/Store Management to decrease shrink.
Formalized interview/interrogation training (Wicklander a plus).
Multi-store investigation experience a plus.


Apply on-line or to:

Field Staffing Manager- LP
The TJX Companies, Inc.
770 Cochituate Road
Framingham, MA 01701
storejob@tjx.com


Marshalls is an equal opportunity employer committed to workplace diversity.



In addition to our open atmosphere and supportive work environment, we are proud to offer an exemplary benefits package that includes: Optional participation in medical, dental, life insurance, long term disability, vision discount program, 401(k) profit sharing plan, and dependent care spending. The TJX Companies, Inc. also provides company paid benefits such as basic life insurance, short-term income protection, and short-term disability. We offer competitive paid time off benefits, an Associate discount, and opportunity for leaves of absences. Benefit eligibility varies depending on hours worked and length of employment.

Marshalls is an equal opportunity employer committed to workplace diversity.

Technical Recruiter

Location: Chicago, IL or Milwaukee, WI
Reports to: Chief Financial Officer
Arrangement: Full-Time Salaried Employee

The Technical Recruiter is responsible for recruiting and retaining full-time and contract technical personnel for our offerings in business intelligence, remote services, and other commercial services. This position collaborates with other SilverTrain leaders to ensure successful projects and staffing engagements.

Responsibilities Include, but are not limited to:
· Market SilverTrain to potential candidates and consultants and promote the SilverTrain name.
· Recruit for permanent positions and project staff relating to IT, Business Intelligence, Remote Services, and other commercial services opportunities on a national basis.
· Maintain recruiting/candidate pipeline reports and attend team meetings to provide recruiting update.
· Work closely and coordinate with HR Manager and Sales team to fulfill resource requirements.
· Create job descriptions for full-time and contract staff.
· Successfully fulfill multiple job orders with a strong sense of urgency.
· Effectively source and qualify technical candidates through a variety of sources including an in-house database, networking, referrals, direct recruiting, Internet recruiting, and vendor relationships.
· Continuously build candidate pipeline and maintain strong, long-term relationships with candidates, consultants, and vendors.
· Prescreen, qualify, present opportunity to candidates, and conduct technical interviews.
· Negotiate rate and/or salary with candidates (with assistance).
· Negotiate rates with vendors (with assistants) and address vendor issues.
· Edit candidate resume as needed, check references, present, and finalize offer with HR Manager.

Position Requirements:
· Bachelor's Degree is preferred.
· Excellent knowledge of and understanding of IT terminology with a solid understanding of IT concepts, terms, and ideas will be essential to success in this position.
· Extension experience recruiting IT technical personnel; specifically Business Intelligence/Data Warehouse and Remote Services which includes Business Objects, Cognos, Technical Architects, Business Intelligence Project Managers, VPN Technicians (amount others).
· Excellent knowledge of the national market from a sales and recruiting perspective.
· Highly experienced in evaluation techniques and a proven record of recruiting success.
· Excellent skills in Internet recruiting (Monster, Dice and other job boards).
· Strong network within the IT community.
· Effective at locating and identifying candidates to be added to the database for use at a later date.
· Strong knowledge of recruiting policy, procedures, and databases.
· Knowledge of recruiting/placement law and practices.
· Knowledge of compensation practices.
· Ability to multi-task is essential.
· Diplomatic communication and negotiation skills.
· Exceptional organizational skills are essential.
· Entrepreneurial attitude.
· Sales background helpful.

Company: SilverTrain
Contact: Jenni Dell'Agnese
Email: jenni.dellagnese@silvertraininc.com

Language is Dangerous, I Swear

Written by Bob Rehak
Edited by: Sharon Estill
Joboja Staff Writers

No one ever said anything profound using profanity.

That's one of the many lessons my father taught me in the 34 years that I knew him. Although I must admit that I ignored the lesson for the first four years while I grasped the English language. Then I ignored him again for another 7 years from age 13 through 19 while I grasped what it meant to be a teenager. By the time I was 20, I had figured out his message (see? kids CAN be taught)! And not to sound like a grumpy old(er) man, but the use of profanity has steadily gotten out of control since, say, the beginning of time.

Even when Adam caught Eve with that apple he probably said something like, "Shucks, woman, what did that Creator guy tell you?" (I doubt that he took the Lord's name in vain. That honor probably went to Noah first, when he saw all that damn rain).

If we are to believe what we see in the movies and the eyewitness accounts of folks who were alive in the 50s, they never swore, so this profanity insanity probably started somewhere in the 60s, perhaps as soon as Oswald's bullet found its target. Up until then, people seemed pretty calm and literate. Maybe with the aftermath of the Kennedy era and our "conflict" with Vietnam, profanity became more socially acceptable.

It has been a slow, disturbing evolution. Growing up in the 70s, even television was tame compared to today. Turn on any prime-time sitcom tonight and it will likely be rated TV-14 for Language, which means that the language is unsuitable for those less than 14 years of age. With that warning level necessary for a supposedly funny "family-hour" program, the writers' strike is looking better every day (no new scatological humor or sexual innuendos to make parents squirm when the kids ask what a pole dancer is).
Earlier this month the city council in St. Charles, Missouri proposed a ban on profanity in bars and taverns within the city limits. City Councilman Robert Veit proposed the idea to help curb the rowdy atmosphere at some of the local establishments. Naturally, the national media was incredulous. The ACLU got involved, claiming that the right to free speech was being trampled. Before the ban was set for a vote, Veit withdrew the proposal, no doubt fearing the expense of a lawsuit. Sometimes the Fifth Amendment gets in the way of common decency.

I once worked with a salesperson who used profanity all the time, even in casual conversation. She shocked me with her matter-of-fact expletive use the very first time we met. She could tell that I was caught off-guard, but she just kept right on lobbing f-bombs like a kid throwing balls in a McDonald's ball pit. Months later, after I realized her Turrets-like vocabulary was intentional, I asked her why she swore ALL the time. She told me that when you swear, people pay attention. It's true that she got people's attention. She also no longer works here.

In the early 1960s Lenny Bruce was arrested several times for using obscene language in his act. Today, although arresting someone for talking dirty would seem absurd, I wouldn't necessarily call that progress. Comedians like Chris Rock (and Richard Pryor before him) can't get through a joke without using profanity.

They call it edgy. I call it lazy.

I saw a Chris Rock routine one night, and he was talking about how hard it is to go out to dinner with married couples. The concept was funny; that married couples are boring and wrapped up with way too many responsibilities and bring down their friends who are single. He started out his rant by saying, "I hate f***ing married people." Take out the f-word, and is the message any less funny? I caught his act on Comedy Central, so all of his profanity was bleeped out. Since every other word was censored, it was like having him put on his act while programming a microwave.
Howard Stern moved his act to SIRIUS radio for two reasons: money and the uncensored freedom that satellite radio provides (and yes, in that order). Basically Stern had to move because he can't get through a show without using profanity, and the FCC was holding him back. His big pitch to potential subscribers is that his show is now uncensored. That's a great reason to subscribe to radio, don't you think?

Now, I'm not naïve. I know that profanity is part of our everyday language and is most definitely here to stay. I also know that television and radio will continue to test the censors, all in the name of Free Speech. I just don't consider it progress. I also find it ironic that subscribers are willing to pay to hear profanity, all in the name of "free" speech.

HUMP WEDNESDAY!!!!

ARLINGTON HOUSE. 616

Job Type: Full-time
Salary: $9/hour

ARLINGTON HOUSE. 616 W Arlington. Full-time/ part-time front desk clerk needed in hotel setting in the Lincoln Park area. Salary $9/ hour. Ideal candidate should have hotel front desk experience and be able to work flexible hours. Please fax 773-665-5485 attn: Louis.

Bar and Grill Manager (Lakeview)

Neighborhood: Lakeview
Job Type: Full-time
Salary: Competitive

Successful Lakeview Bar and Grill located on North Halsted is seeking an experienced Manager to lead our team. Successful candidate will have great guest relations skills, strong P&L background, liquor cost control administration experience and employee supervision and training background. Responsibilities include floor supervision, limited ordering, control of positouch POS system, guest relationship development and staff leadership. We are seeking a self-directed leader who is capable of taking charge and making decisions in the best interest of the business. Apply directly to the owner at mark@halstedschicago.com.

Direct Service Provider

Neighborhood: Rogers Park
Job Type: Full-time and Part-time
Salary: 9.50

Adult Group Home in Rogers Park serving individuals w/autism seeking direct support staff. Must be patient, loving and enthusiastic. Starting salary $9.50 hr. Fax resume w/cover letter to PACTT Learning Center 773/338-9103.

MACHINERY REPAIR. CDL

MACHINERY REPAIR. CDL driver. Great opportunity if you enjoy repairing equipment and cars. Must have CDL license. Excellent salary and benefits. Call Alfred Samek, 773-275-0700 x26.

FLAT TOP GRILL

FLAT TOP GRILL is hiring a Party Sales Person to work out of our Oak Park Corporate Office! Are you a high energy individual looking for a new career in a growing company? We are searching for an extremely organized, assertive person with great communication and follow up skills. This individual will report directly to our CEO, and work directly with our guests and managers. Service experience is a plus! If you are a natural leader with a sales mentality, send your resume today. Call Megan at 708-383-2240 ext 233 or email your resume to maddington@flattopgrill.com

Dating For Fun and Profit

Written by: Jeffrey Lorber
Edited by: Julia Wolfe
Joboja Staff Writers

Having been married for the past 27 years, and out of the dating scene for about the same amount of time (plus a few months), I’m qualified as an expert on the subject of dating. How is that possible? I was 32 years old when I got married, giving me a solid 16 years of dating experience, which is probably more than you.

So pay attention—the geezer may know a thing or two. Now that my creds are established, let’s get to the good stuff:

First, what is your dating “goal”? Are you looking for a good time, wink wink, or a future Mr. or Mrs. Glockenspeil? Either way the first mission is to find your prey. Where are they hiding?

Routines:

Before we actually locate the homo erectus descendent that you are seeking (male or female), you need to understand the concept of “routines”. Look at your own life. You wake up at the same time every day, go through your morning ablutions, get to work or school, do roughly the same thing all day.
You go home, eat and study, or work some more, maybe hang out, and watch TV, day after day after day. Until ohmygod it’s the WEEKEND, when you expect things to be different…but that would be delusional.

If you’re looking for a one-night-stand, you only need to go where that’s the expectation – clubs, bars, etc. But that’s not your mission, Bunky, is it? You want romance, passion, love, a meaningful relationship, right?
Well, no one I ever have met or known found his or her true love at Happy Hour. So the weekend is exactly NOT the best time to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. Get out of the house, have a few drinks and enjoy yourself.

It’s fun. It’s just not going to result in anything meaningful. Set your expectations accordingly.
Hunting:

Whether it’s boy hunting or girl hunting, the rules are the same:

You will find them where you like to find yourself. If you go to church 5 days a week or can’t resist Starbucks and a good book, or haven’t missed an Ohio State football game in the last 10 years, then that’s where you look: Church, Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, the local sports Bar and Grill. Those are the places you will find people with common interests.
Sometimes you have to actually look around. If the guys/gals are all creeps at The Church of the Holy Redeemer that you attend, or the local Barnes and Noble, don’t give up. There are other churches, bars, bookstores, and movie theatres around.

Get off your butt and go take a look. Ever been to a synagogue or mosque?
Hunting alone or in a pack: This is a question of personal taste. I always found that I did better on my own. After all, I’m not getting married with the hockey team, so why hunt with them?

Besides, they are the competition. That includes your best friend. And don’t ever hunt with a homely friend, because if they score, and you don’t, you will be depressed for life!

The Pretty Girl Theory

It is a fact, indisputable and undeniable, that every pretty girl (or boy), unless they are an absolute head-case already has a boy/girl friend. You can take it to the bank. That doesn’t mean they are in a satisfying or meaningful relationship, but unless your timing is impeccable, they will all be taken.

So what’s a boy or girl to do? Simply put, you have to supply what is missing. You have to win them away.

The good news is you don’t have to go to a sales seminar to accomplish this feat. Be yourself. By that I mean be the best version of yourself possible.
You have a choice between using a brush and putting on clean clothes, or running your fingers through your hair and wearing that same shirt that has lain on the floor for the past week. Make the right choice.

Happy hunting.
P.S. The sniff test. If a person doesn’t smell good to you, move on. This is primal and a failsafe test of basic compatibility.

P.P.S. The absolute best place to pick up a girl is at a department store, in the women’s clothing section, on a weekday afternoon. When women are bored, they shop! Good luck.

Keep it Simple Stupid

CUSTOMER SERVICE/COLLECTION REP (EVENING POSITION)

Neighborhood: City North
Job Type: Full-time

EVENING POSITION
HOURS: MONDAY,TUESDAY,THURSDAY,FRIDAY 12:00pm-8:00pm
WEDNESDAY 9:00am-7:00pm
EVERY OTHER SATURDAY 8:00am-4:00pm
BILINGUAL (SPANISH)
1-2 YEARS EXPERIENCE
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
PROBLEM SOLVER
GOOD LISTNER
DATA ENTRY
COMPUTER SKILLS
TEAM AND GOAL ORIENTED
SEND RESUME TO nancy@turneracceptance.com or fax to 773-290-5211 Attn: Nancy

NORTHSIDE HOMELESS SERVICES

Neighborhood: Uptown/ Buena Park
Job Type: Part-time
Salary: $7.75/hr

HOMELESS SERVICES North side homeless agcy. seeks: PT Overnight & PT Daytime Shelter Staff, Sal.:$7.75/hr. Req. HS. Resume & cover letter: REST, PO Box 408307, Chgo, 60640; fax 773-784-1087, restprimary@sbcglobal.net.

Office Admin/Receptionist

Neighborhood: Loop
Job Type: Full-time
Salary: tbd

West Loop creative firm searching for a remarkable receptionist/administrative assistant. Must be organized, energetic and capable of handling many tasks at once, paying great attention to detail. Need at least two years experience in a professional client-oriented environment. Strong customer service skills are necessary. Must be proficient in all Microsoft programs, especially Outlook. A sunny and upbeat disposition is a must; BA preferred. Please email cover letter, resume and references to hello@designkitchen.com for consideration.

Inbound Golf Reservationist

Neighborhood: Loop
Job Type: Part-time
Salary: $8.50 to $9.00

Seeking professional, detail-oriented customer service agents for work in a fast-paced inbound call center. We are located off the "L". The ideal candidate will have excellent problem-solving skills and the ability to multi-task. We have a fun casual environment.
We handle incoming calls for golf tee-times and other golf-related inquiries. Our agents are the first contact the golfers have with the course, and are responsible for providing a smooth experience and good first impression.
The job requires a positive attitude, strong computer knowledge, and excellent active listening skills, as agents need to be able to anticipate the needs of the callers. Strong typing and spelling skills are also a must. Agents are expected to be prompt, reliable, well-spoken, and customer-focused. Some knowledge of golf is preferred, but not required.
We offer flexible hours, 25-37 per week and are ideal for students and those needing a second job. Please e-mail your resume to jobs@ezlinks.com along with a required short paragraph introducing yourself and explaining your interest in the job.

BARTENDER/SERVER

Neighborhood: Evanston
Job Type: Full-time and Part-time

BARTENDER/SERVER wanted for fine dining restaurant in Evanston. Fine dining experience necessary, wine knowledge a plus. Fax resume to 847/864-8605 or email employment@thestainedglass.com

Rambo Policy

Office Services Clerk

Neighborhood: Loop
Job Type: Full-time
Salary: $9.25/hr.

Loop law firm seeking full time person to answer switchboard, data entry, file room and minor custodial duties. Salary $9.25 per hour plus benefits. Please e-mail resume to law20firm@yahoo.com.

Cleaner/Light Janitorial- WAUKEGAN

Neighborhood: Suburbs
Job Type: Part-time

Cleaner/Light Janitorial position at Adult Learning Center in WAUKEGAN (FAR NORTH SUBURB). Requires above average cleaning skills and attention to detail. Part-time, M-F, 6am-12pm. EOE call 773-305-5000 ext. 28 or email tquiros@searchdc.org

Apple Internship Program

While Apple's Internship Program is an extraordinary learning experience for students, it can also lead to the beginning of a rewarding career at Apple.

Play a key role in developing the latest hardware and software. Immerse yourself in Apple's high-energy environment. Work with teams that challenge you and appreciate your ideas and contributions.

The majority of Apple interns are studying some type of engineering: Computer Science, Computer Engineering, Electrical Engineering, or Mechanical Engineering.

Apple does hire interns from non-technical areas, including MBAs or undergraduates studying finance, marketing, media arts, or graphic design. Successful intern candidates from non-engineering fields usually have some technical knowledge or experience.

Location:
California

Website/Contact Info:
www.apple.com/jobs/us/pro/intern/

NASA Internship Programs

NASA is looking for student interns in the areas of Engineering, Science, Information Technology, and Business Management.

NASA sponsors a variety of work opportunities for students. The pace of their programs and research needs puts newly hired employees rapidly into on-the-job applications of concepts and skills.

As a NASA intern, you will have the unparalleled opportunity to work side-by-side with a cadre of innovative and imaginative NASA professionals.

Come join us in expanding the boundaries of air and space. The program prepares students for their careers in the Federal Government.

Location:
Varies

Website/Contact Info:
http://education1.nasa.gov/divisions/higher/
programs/high_ed_student.html

Internships at HSBC

We understand that choosing the right career can be one of the most difficult decisions you’ll ever have to make. To help you make that choice, we offer internships around the world that will enable you to pinpoint the area of expertise in which you excel and feel most inspired.

We want to make sure that your internship with HSBC provides you with the best stepping-stone to your future career. You’ll gain relevant work experience in different business areas and enhance your knowledge of the industry. Our internships also create opportunities for you to develop important relationships with experienced professionals who'll help you make the right career choices at HSBC.

HSBC values internships as it is a chance to get to know you, offer feedback on your performance and guide you to a career path that is best suited to you. We're a fast-growing and diversified organisation that is focused on helping you to fulfil your potential.

Location:
Varies

Website/Contact Info:
www.hsbc.com/hsbc/student_careers/internships

NAFEO "Writers of Passage" Essay Competition

The Sallie Mae Fund and the National Association for Equal Opportunity in Higher Education (NAFEO) have created the "Writers of Passage" Essay Competition.

The partnership between The Sallie Mae Fund and NAFEO was established to focus national attention on the importance of developing good writing skills.

Winning students will receive a scholarship for their compelling essays about how students at HBCUs or PBIs have established a rich tradition of promoting social justice and how they can flex their political muscle in the upcoming 2008 political season. In addition, the student's HBCU or PBI will receive a grant for improving student outreach and writing enhancement initiatives.

Deadline:
February 1, 2008

Award Amount:
$5,000 - $20,000

Website/Contact Info:
www.nafeo.org/wop_2008.php

Kirsten R. Lorentzen Award For Women In Science

The award is given annually to an exceptionally well-rounded student who excels in her studies as well as outdoor activities, service, sports, music, or other non-academic pursuits or who has overcome significant obstacles.

Female students in the sophomore or junior year of college who are majoring in physics, including space physics and geophysics, or geoscience may apply. Applicants must be U.S. citizens or permanent residents who attend a college or university in the United States.

Reviewers consider academic achievement as well as commitment and accomplishments in non-academic pursuits or success in overcoming significant barriers.

Deadline:
January 31, 2008

Award Amount:
$1,000

Website/Contact Info:
http://www.awis.org/careers/edfoundation.html#lorentzen

Weyerhaeuser/UNCF Corporate Scholars Program

Jump start your career! The Weyerhaeuser/UNCF Corporate Scholars Program was established to increase student interest in Weyerhaeuser and to expand the pool of prospective diverse employees.

Sophomores and Juniors enrolled in four year accredited colleges and universities in the areas of Forestry, Industrial/Electrical/Manufacturing Engineering, Operation management & Supervision, or Marketing/Sales are eligible to apply.

Founded in 1900, Weyerhaeuser is one of the largest forest products companies in the world, employing roughly 60,000 people. They operate four major business
segments, namely timberlands, wood products,
pulp, paper and packaging, and real estate.

Deadline:
February 15, 2008

Award Amount:
$10,000

Website/Contact Info:
www.uncf.org/forstudents/

W.E.B. Dubois Fellowship Program

The U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, National Institute of Justice is seeking applications for funding under the W.E.B. DuBois Fellowship Program.

This program furthers the Department’s mission by sponsoring research to provide objective, independent, evidence-based knowledge and tools to meet the challenges of crime and justice, particularly at the State and local levels.

Similar to post-doctoral programs, the W.E.B. DuBois Fellowship provides researchers with the opportunity to advance scholarly efforts in research on crime, violence, and the administration of justice in diverse cultural contexts.

Award Amount:
Up to $75,000

Deadline:
February 1, 2008

Website/Contact Info:
www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/funding.htm

Best Buy Scholarship

Best Buy Children's Foundation is awarding $2.75 million in scholarships to recognize and reward students who have made extraordinary contributions both inside and outside of the classroom.

The Best Buy Scholarship Program is administered by Scholarship Management Services, a division of Scholarship America. Scholarship America is dedicated to improving access to postsecondary education for students through scholarships and educational support.

Selection of recipients will be based on solid academic performance (minimum GPA of 2.5 on a 4.0 scale) and exemplary community service or work experience. Consideration may also be given to participation and leadership in school activities. Financial need is not considered.

Awards are for undergraduate study only and are awarded without regard to race, color, creed, religion, sexual orientation, age, gender or disability.

Deadline:
February 15, 2008

Award Amount:
$1,500 - $10,000

Website/Contact Info:
https://bestbuy.scholarshipamerica.org/

Happy Friday!!!!!

Kid Dislikes Hillary

Kid Dislikes Bush

Volunteer To Help Homeless Youth

Neighborhood: City North
Job Type: Full-time and Part-time

Invisible Youth Network - Chicago Chapter needs volunteers to run its street outreach program.
Email resume or fax to: 773-584-0861
Go to our websites for more information:
Headquarters website:
http://www.freewebs.com/invisibleyouth/
Chicago Chapter website:
http://www.freewebs.com/invisibleyouthnetworkchicago/

Vocational Skills Trainer

Neighborhood: Other US/ Int'l
Job Type: Full-time, Part-time and Internship
Salary: $11 - $12 per hour

Social Service agency in western suburbs seeks a recent college grad to work in a newly created position to learn the field of vocational rehabilitation from the ground floor up. We seek a highly motivated, energetic, customer service oriented problem solver. This position works with adults with developmental disabilities in a dynamic vocational setting and has potential and expectations for advancement. Please visit our website at hhrehab.org for a full description of the programs and services our agency offers.
Apply at:
Helping Hand Rehabilitation Center (EOE)
9649 W. 55th Street
Countryside, IL 60525
or email resume to Human Resources: pam@hhrehab.org

TELEMARKETING/ FUNDRAISING. DAILY

TELEMARKETING/ FUNDRAISING. DAILY pay through winter. Veterans/ firefighters, full-time/ part-time. 630-674-0578. Start today!

TRATTORI RESTAURANT LOOKING

TRATTORI RESTAURANT LOOKING for bartenders, waitresses/ waiters, buspersons and manager. Apply in person, 217 North Jefferson, Monday-Friday, 11-5pm. Must have copy of your ID. No calls.

Bilingual Youth Employment Specialist – Careers For Youth

Neighborhood: Humboldt Park
Job Type: Full-time

The Youth Employment Specialist is responsible for placing youth from the Youth Career Development Center (YCDC) into paid internships, part-time jobs, or full-time jobs in order to meet program outcomes. The Youth Employment Specialist must also coordinate its work with the Center for Working Families and the Youth Career Development Center Implementation Team so that activities are completed according to integrated program schedules. Tracking and reporting must also be coordinated to meet the needs of both programs.

REQUIREMENTS:
High school a minimum; BA degree preferred. Prefer at least 3 years experience placing and retaining low-income participants in employment. Ability to communicate effectively in English and Spanish. Ability to work flexible hours according to program needs.
Association House of Chicago is an Equal Opportunity Employer.
To apply, please forward resume to jgarcia@associationhouse.org

YWCA New Empowerment Coaching Program

YWCA Metropolitan Chicago is now taking applications for its new Empowerment Coaching Program. The Empowerment Coaching Program offers women a partnership for long-term personal and financial success.
Coaching will be held at our new center located at 6600 S. Cottage Grove Ave.

Work one-on-one with an Empowerment Coach to:

Strengthen computer skills
Build savings and improve your credit
Earn a GED or college degree
Find and grow your career

If you are interested in being considered for the program, please fill out an application at the YWCA by February 29, 2008.

YWCA Metropolitan Chicago
360 North Michigan Ave, Suite 800
Chicago, IL 60601

info@ywcachicago.org
www.ywcachicago.org

First Baptist Congregational Church Job Fair January 24th 10am-1pm

Hosted by Rev. Tony Brown
Sales Representative
&
Anne-Marie Ard
Regional Recruiting Manager
With Western Southern Financial Group

Western Southern Financial currently has openings for Account Managers and Sales Managers.
Western Southern Financial is a Fortune 500 Company with 6 locations throughout the
Chicagoland area. We are a 119 year old company currently holding 47 Billion dollars in
assets.

We offer
Salary/Bonus/Commission
Benefits day one that you start
Company Laptop
Flexible Schedule

Come out to also meet with our Fortune 500 companies
Fifth Third Bank Capital Mortgage Funding
Washington Mutual DiTrolio Flexographic Institute
AT&T Olivet Nazarene University
US Cellular D&P Jones Insurance Agency
YMCA Alliance And Many More...

****Please note this is a professional job fair. Have resume ready and dress for an interview. NO
JEANS OR GYMSHOES***

***Rev. Tony Brown will also be speaking about how to secure your financial future***

First Baptist Congregational Church
1613 W. Washington Blvd.
Chicago, IL 60612
(312) 243-8047

An Unconventional Approach to the Cubs

Written by: Bob Rehak
Edited by: Matthew Bradwell
Joboja Staff Writers

There is a difference between Cubs and White Sox fans that can be summed up in one word: passion.

Passion for the game, passion for the team, passion for winning (this one's a desperate passion) and yes, a passion for Wrigley Field.
As a Cubs fan, I have to laugh, roll my eyes and generally turn away in disgust every time a Sox fan says that the only reason Cubs fans go to the games is for the ambiance in and around Wrigley. While it's true that Wrigley is God's favorite place to watch a game, (why else would He have season tickets?), the stadium only adds to the passion; it does not fuel it. And I can prove it, every January, without fail.

While Sox fans sit at home in January, counting down the days to that first important game of the season (this year it's June 20 – the first game at Wrigley), we Cubs fans made the trek to the Chicago Hilton and Towers for our annual Cubs Convention. The Cubs Convention sold out this year in 10 minutes. Soxfest tickets went on sale January 8 and is at the Palmer House January 26 and 27 and still has tickets available. I just checked yesterday. It's $70 for a 2-day pass to Soxfest (the Cubs Convention costs $50 for a 3 day pass – draw your own conclusions).
What does the Cubs Convention prove? That Wrigley is a bonus, not a draw, and that Sox fans will support the team on occasion, if they feel like it. In the middle of January, with record cold outside, we packed the Convention again this year. No Wrigley, no sunshine, no bleachers. There was Ronnie "Woo-Woo" Wickers, however. Hey, even a filet mignon gets a hair in it once in a while.

Cubs fans have a passion that perhaps only Red Sox and Cardinals fans can understand. We think about our team all the time. Our Christmas presents are wrapped in Cub-logoed paper and what's inside usually has the Cubs logo printed on it somewhere.
We recognize each other's scent. Every time I'm out of town and I'm wearing a Cubs shirt (that I got for Christmas), strangers will invariably say, "Go Cubs" as they walk by. It's kind of like when two Harley riders pass each other on the highway and give each other that nod - except when a Cubs fan waves to you he doesn't lose control and hit a guardrail.
Check out any away Cubs game on TV this season, and you'll see a nice sprinkling of Cubbie-blue in the stands, every time, every game. Once again, there is no Wrigley, no bleachers, and hopefully no "Woo-Woo." So what's the draw in, say, Washington, D.C. of a Cubs-Nationals game for our fans? Why, it can only be the team and passion for a win.
I've been taking my kids to the Convention for years. It's a great time for Cubs fans. The hotel is sold out since August. It's wall to wall Cubbie blue. I think even the eggs at the $16.25 breakfast buffet were blue, but I may have been seeing things.

Past and present Cubs players are at the convention, and yes, you can get just about anyone's autograph, if you know the secret.

The secret is Tupperware.

Players are used to grown men bringing bats and jerseys to sign in one hand, and a laptop connected to Ebay in the other, so they generally don't stop to sign for anyone over 18 - especially if you're wearing a t-shirt that says, www.CubsSignedMemorabiliaForSaleAndProfit.com .

Sometimes it's hard for them to distinguish between the profiteers and the passioneers. That's where the Tupperware comes in. Last year I got on the elevator with Rod Beck, former reliever for the Cubs. There were 10 other people in the elevator, and you could tell that The Shooter was holding his breath like a 5th grader in Math class who forgot to study, not wanting to draw too much attention. I was on my way to warm up some mashed potatoes for my son. I looked at Rod. Then I looked at the taters. Seemed like a match made in heaven.

So I said, "Hey, Rod, will you sign my son's mashed potatoes?"

I doubt that there is a celebrity alive who can ignore that request. He broke his elevator-ceiling-stare and looked at me and said, "Are you serious? Sure I'll sign your son's mashed potatoes."

And he did, right on the blue lid of the Tupperware. He knew that this was one item that wasn't going on Ebay, especially since I didn't have a Certificate of Authenticity to go with it, although the mashed potatoes had been certified by the FDA.
This year I employed the same tactic, but I mixed it up a little bit. Oatmeal container, orange lid. As the players and coaches walk through the hotel, they usually have a security detail with them who clears the way and says, "No autographs, no autographs." They like to make you wait in an orderly line at a prescribed time for autographs. But that's for other people. I had to pick my spot and my target.

Who looked like an oatmeal kind of guy? Lou Piniella seemed like a match. I purposely peeked in on the end of one of his seminars and waited patiently as fans bum-rushed him afterwards, holding up baseballs, jerseys, and bats for him to sign.
Amateurs.
As he started to walk out of the room, I triangulated in my head where he would be in another 90 seconds, kind of a Cubs-GPS type thing. I went upstairs and found an empty hallway and waited. Sure enough, 89 seconds later there was Lou, walking with some other coaches, players, and a security guard.
"Lou, will you sign my son's oatmeal?"

He slammed on the brakes. I think Larry Rothschild bumped into him.

"Sure, I'll sign your oatmeal." Ahhhhh, the power of plastic.

Sadly, Rod Beck passed away last year. My son thinks I may have jinxed him with the mashed potatoes. So I realized I was taking a chance with Lou Piniella this year, which is one reason why I went with the oatmeal. If the Cubs don't win it all this year, us Cubs fans will still keep that passion. And at next year's sold out convention I'll have someone else sign a new container. Maybe that one will have goat cheese in it.

FREE EIGHT WEEK BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT TRAINING

The Beloved Community Business Development Program, in partnership with the University of Illinois Extension, will hold an exciting, free eight-week Small Business Training, beginning Wednesday January 30 through Wednesday, March 5, 2008, 6:30 -9:00 p.m. at the Auburn Gresham Resource Center, 1153 West 79th Street.

Open to all interested residents of the Auburn Gresham and surrounding communities, the free training will focus on small business knowledge and skills, providing quality instruction to those who have little or no previous knowledge as well as those who are ready to complete the components of a plan for a realistic business opportunity.

Space is limited. All interested participants should RSVP by January 27, 2008 by contacting Justin Richardson at 773-483-9858 or by email at justin@belovedcommunitychicago.org.

For more information regarding The Beloved Community Business Development Program please visit www.belovedcommunitychicago.org.

HUMP WEDNESDAY!!!!!

I Want Cookies

PART TIME FRONT DESK LOAN PROCESSOR (WHEELING BRANCH)

Neighborhood: Suburbs (Other)
Job Type: Part-time
Salary: $10.00

HOURS:
MONDAY.TUESDAY 10:00am-6:00pm
WEDNESDAY 10:00am-7:00pm
SATURDAY,SUNDAY 10:00am-2:00pm
Data Entry
Answering phones
Computer skills(e-mail,Windows,Microsoft Word,Excel)
Verify Credit Applications
6 months Customer Service experience
BILINGUAL(SPANISH)
Goal Oriented
Teamwork
Send resume to hr@turneracceptance.com or fax to 773-290-5211 Attn:Nancy

Barber Wanted

Add to Favorites
Neighborhood: Loop
Job Type: Full-time
Salary: Commission

Michael's Barber Shop located in downtown Chicago is looking for experienced licensed Barber with clientele following. This is an ideal long-term opportunity in a positive energetic shop. Must have good customer service skills.
Please call Michael at 312-782-4221 or stop by Michael's Barber Shop at 125 South Clark Street, main floor arcade.
Hours: 8:00AM to 6:00PM, Monday - Friday

MANAGER TRAINEE, PICTURE

Salary: $20K

MANAGER TRAINEE, PICTURE Us Galleries. Our company is growing and we need fast learning, dedicated people to sell professional custom framing. No experience necessary, but a strong interest/ background in art or customer service experience is a plus! $20K starting salary plus bonuses, medical/ dental insurance, paid vacation. Fax resume 847-272-4614 or e-mail: gspictureus@yahoo.com

Research Coders

Neighborhood: WI/ IN/ MI/ MN/ IA
Job Type: Part-time
Salary: $9.00/hr start

Iowa State University (ISU) seeks coders for research projects; part-time hourly positions; use standard systems to assess video-taped conversations or written interviews with African American families; paid training period. All work performed on-site at ISBR. Prefer social science or education degrees. Contact Institute for Social and Behavioral Research (ISBR) 515-294-9921, hewitt@iastate.edu, or www.isbr.iastate.edu/obsunit/. Anticipated start Feb 15; priority for qualified early applicants.

Customer Service Representative

Job Type: Part-time

We are looking for individuals to work in a call center environment providing superior customer service. Duties include taking incoming calls and assisting customers with questions and/or concerns regarding service and billing. These are part time positions that will require some flexibility and will start on January 28, 2008.

Oh God Its Monday!!!!!!!!

Pwn'd PC

Add to My Profile | More Videos

How to Meet a Guy….Part 3

Written by: Lisa Minns
Edited by Kate Kliner
Joboja Staff Writers

Welcome back to my experiment. I’ve worked my way through days 1-20 on the Cosmopolitan 30 days to meet a guy calendar. What have I learned so far? That I keep forgetting I’m supposed to be working on finding a guy. Oh and that apparently, according to Cosmo, there are gyms where men who would like to meet women take classes. I may have to look into finding one of those. In my gym, the men work the free weights and seems that only women take the classes. Oh well, are you just dying to find out how my last 10 days went? Let’s get to it.

Day 21-On your way home from work, stop in at a spot you've never been to -- a coffee place, for instance -- and start a convo with a guy. It's often easier to step out of your comfort zone and make a move when in a novel environment. Ok, so today’s mission was easy. See here’s the thing…I talk to everyone. Yep, I seem to start conversations with total strangers all the time. I figure that everyone has a story to tell and the only way to find out what it is is to talk to them.

Day 21-Call or email folks you met at your soiree two days ago to thank them for coming. People don’t readily hand out their contact info to complete strangers. Sure, they will talk for quite some time but when it comes to the contact info, not always as easy to get. Did get emails and myspace info from a few guys so I’ll send them a message.

Day 22-Coordinate a happy hour with a hot male coworker and agree to each bring a couple of friends. Just gonna have to skip this step. See, I’m an insurance adjuster and in my industry, there just aren’t that many men and the ones who are there are either married or not exactly in the hot category. I’m going to call my friends and have a girl’s night out with martini’s and appetizers instead. You never know who will be at place we decide to go.

Day 23-"Accidentally" bump into a sexy man when you're at the grocery store. It's an instant convo starter (hey, you gotta say "sorry"), and the physical contact from your little collision makes the exchange more intimate. Tried this one a few hours ago. Bumped into him alright. We almost both dropped everything we were holding. To say that he was not amused was an understatement. Not much conversation after that. I don’t think I’m a very good accidental bumper.

Day 24-ou're in the homestretch, so no matter how scary these next ideas seem, be fearless and give it your all. Uummm….isn’t that what I’ve been doing all along? Come on Cosmo, give me some credit here!

Day 25-Get a guy's attention with a gutsy move -- try sending fries to his table at a restaurant or buying him a drink. I tried this once before. My friend and I sent a couple of guys at another table drinks. Do you know that it took them almost an hour to come and talk to us! Decided that it was better to leave this move up to the men out there. They seem to do it better.

Day 26-After scoping out a men's store for good-looking guys, pick up a shirt and approach one of them. Say, "Excuse me. My brother's birthday is coming up. What do you think of this?" I don’t have a brother and I don’t like to lie. How about uncle? Could we go with that? Ok, off to the mall I go. Found my favorite men’s stores. Scoped them out. No men were shopping. Seriously! None! So, since I was there, I made a pit stop at Macy’s for a new pair of shoes and did a once around to check out the new lines at Express. Hey, I was there anyway!

Day 27-At this point, you're a pro at striking up conversations with men. So take it a step further -- you must give at least one guy your digits. Felt a little weird doing this one but hey, it’s for science, right? Met a guy at a card exchange party. Perfect opportunity. People are there to exchange numbers, right. Ok, so it’s the easy way out but that’s just how the days fell. Yep, go me, I gave him my business card.

Day 28-Dare yourself to hand your business card to a sexy stranger and ask him to call you. Didn’t I just do this yesterday? Yep, I did. Taking today off.

Day 29-Work up the nerve to talk to a crush — like a hottie who works in your building — and swap email addresses. I don’t have a crush on anyone. There is hot Tony who lives in my development. I’ve given him my number a few times but I don’t think that he’s quite caught on yet. Have to see if he’s at mailboxes or pool and maybe take a walk over there.

Day 30-Congratulations! You made it through man-meeting boot camp. We'll be shocked if you don't have a date tonight. Relax and savor the romantic rewards you've worked so hard for. Not so much. I’m sitting here in my jimmies watching TV. Oh well, it was fun trying.

So, Cosmo, while your 30 day guide is not fool proof it was a good time. I may not have met a man but that also could have to do with the fact that I kept forgetting I was supposed to be doing this so the days were not followed in a totally consistent pattern. There are some tools and tricks that I learned that I will take with me back into the South Florida dating jungle. My friends and I are still perfecting our “come hither look”. Work it! Work it!


Finding the right person can take time…even up to 4 mintues. RSVP for a party at hurrydate.com or send me a message at myspace.com/lisahurrydate.com.

Lisa is a freelance writer living, working and dating South Florida.

What Is “The Secret” To Finding Real Wealth?

by: John J. Lynch

Did you know that less than one percent of the people currently living on this planet account for almost twenty-five percent of ALL the wealth? These powerful people certainly don’t want you to know this...they want you to stay as mindless drones whose sole objective is to keep THEM wealthy. What is the secret this small fraction of the population knows that the rest do not?

If you haven't seen the movie "The Secret", I implore you to watch it! The Secret is the most powerful law in the universe! If you have already seen it, watch it again. To watch "The Secret" online, copy and paste this url into your browser; http://www.thesecret.tv/home.html

Or you can watch "The Secret" On Demand via cable and satellite for audiences in the United States and Canada.

This small minority of people who are currently pulling the strings on world politics and world economics have mastered The Secret. These are the same people who want The Secret banned like it was once banned hundreds of years ago. Now The Secret has been un-earthed for all to discover its tremendous power once again!

There also have been great leaders who have mastered The Secret and made positive contributions to all of humanity. Leaders like Albert Einstein, Abe Lincoln, and Mother Teresa to name a few.

We are now living in an exciting new age of technology where humanity can do incredible things. The brick and mortar corporations who once ruled our economy unequivocally over the little guy are slowly losing their death grip due to the astonishing power of the internet!

So what is this secret you ask? In a sentence; "The Secret Is The Law Of Attraction". Simply stated, you get what you wish for...or your thoughts dictate what you get in life. Your health is dictated by your thoughts as well as your wealth.

Think of your thoughts as little tiny magnets...the intensity of these tiny magnets or thoughts are in direct proportion to the emotions you attach to it. The stronger the magnet, the stronger the attraction. This explains why a lot of people don't get what they wish for. They have not attached a strong enough emotion to their dream. Or they feel they don’t deserve their dream so they don’t bother pursuing it.

Let me give you an example of how the law of attraction works in a negative way. Think of the days when you got started off the wrong foot, then said to yourself "this is gonna be a long and terrible day". What happened? A long and terrible day...you got what you wished for! The degree of how terrible your day turned out was proportional to the intensity of the negative emotion you attached to the thought, right?

So how do these little "magnets" or thoughts attract what we want or don't want in our lives you ask? Well, and this is based on quantum physics that scientists have just learned in the last 10 or 15 years. There is an invisible universal mind if you will that contains all the dreams and thoughts of everyone who has ever lived or will live...past...present...future. This is quite the paradox you may think, how can this be?

The "time" element in this universal mind has been negated or altered. Quantum physics has recently shown us that a single electron can occupy two different spaces in an electro-magnetic field at the same exact point in time, once thought impossible. This goes against the laws of physics unless time has been negated or altered some how, the only possible explanation. So you may be able to connect with the dreams of someone who hasn't been born yet. Are you getting excited yet?

The Universal Mind is a sort of collective consciousness. The place where dreams are born. These dreams are invisible and waiting to take physical form.

How do you convert your dreams from the universal mind to the physical realm? By constantly thinking about your dreams with strong emotions and just as importantly - taking action! I am NOT talking about wishful thinking here...you must take action on your dreams!

It helps to have pictures of your dreams and look at them every day. Write your dreams down. Formulate a plan that is specific and with deadlines that will bring your dreams to fruition...and stay the course! “Don’t die with your dreams still inside you” as Dr. Wayne Dyer likes to say.

That is why I firmly believe you should pursue ventures you have a passion for...then you will find it easier to attach strong positive emotions to your thoughts and dreams.

This is the most powerful law in the universe, use it wisely my liege...

Good Luck and Stay the Course!

John Lynch

About The Author

John Lynch is owner of http://How2MakeMoneyOnline.org and writes on a variety of subjects. To learn more about this topic John recommends you visit: http://www.pluginprofitsite.com/main-19065-

Source: articlecity

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!

Born Ready TV, Lance Stephenson, "Promo"

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Receptionist/Switchboard Operator

Neighborhood: City North
Job Type: Full-time
Salary: $8.50 -$9.00 hr.

Customer Service oriented person needed to answer phones, greet customers and vendors, filing of accounts payable paperwork... Full Time M-F 9-5 p.m. Fax resumes to Karen 312-726-3016.
$8.50 - $9.00 hourly

Marketing support and digital production artist (chicago based wall decor / framing co.)

Neighborhood: Lakeview
Job Type: Full-time, Part-time, Temp/Contract and Internship
Marketing support and digital production artist (chicago based wall decor / framing co.)

Maintaining online database of artwork including
communicating with artists.
Proofing, resizing, optimizing of graphics
in-house marketing support: letters, sale leads follow up
work well in a team setting; yet is self-motivated.
Knowledge of trends and a sense of design a plus.
Feels that they can represent a growing, progressive
company at social events also a plus.

contact:
mike@peterson-picture.com

SALES/BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT

Neighborhood: Suburbs
Job Type: Full-time

PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSESSMENT PRACTICE seeks
individual to develop new corporate accounts.
Must have strong networking potential with
upper level business/community
contacts. Entrepreneurial spirit.
Work directly with principal.

DIAGNOSTIC SCIENCES-630.684.2221

Experienced Receptionist Needed ASAP!

Neighborhood: West Loop
Job Type: Full-time

Kaya Day Spa in Chicago's West Loop is hiring a full-time Receptionist. Experience, enthusiasm, and energy is necessary in our environment! Please send resumes via fax to 312-243-4059 or email to info@kayadayspa.com

SOFTWARE TELEPHONE TECH SUPPORT-FULL TIME

Neighborhood: Andersonville
Job Type: Full-time
Salary: 28000

25 year old software development company in Andersonville, Chicago seeks motivated individual for full time, entry level telephone tech support role. Our product is point of sale and inventory management software for bookstores. Must be able to troubleshoot problems, offer solutions by phone. Knowledge of windows operating systems, basic networking, peripheral devices required. Experience with Sybase SQL Server applications, Sybase SQL databases or previous software phone support experience plus. Bookstore or point of sale and inventory retail experience helpful. We will train software. We’re a small company built on strength of our relationships with our customers. We’re looking for strong interpersonal skills, high standards of customer service, team players only. Base salary $28,000 depending on skills and experience. Reasonable commute suggested. Submit resume info@booklog.com or fax 773-275-8498.
Please submit resume to info@booklog.com or fax to 773-275-8498.

Seeking Director of Special Events

Neighborhood: Evanston
Job Type: Part-time
Salary: 15-20

The Actors Gymnasium is seeking a part-time Director of Special Events to market and book corporate-event entertainment and educational workshops. Must be organized, thorough and good with people. Some combination of marketing, education, theatre and corporate events experience is ideal.

Insane Driver

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Bad to the Bone

How To Find Free Internet Marketing

by: Mark Walters

New ecommerce businesses are caught up in SEO and web optimization. They view Google as the holy grail of making profits via the internet. Their internet marketing budget is sank into buying traffic, optimizing pages, and establishing major PayPerClick programs with the major search engines. All the work, and expense, involved in following the pack, is virtually unnecessary in today’s ecommerce world.

Marketing the Website

Submitting to search engines is only the first step toward a strong Internet Marketing campaign – it should never be the full focus. There are several ways to market a website.

- search engine optimization
- Pay Per Click
- Search Engine Submission
- Generating Inbound Links and increasing Page Rank
- Building Content
- Adding Social Networking Tools such as forums

Each one of these tools have a benefit. Recently a blog community went from PR0 – PR4, and receiving 300 000 hits a month with a budget of $50 a month. The blog community invested $20 a month in a PayPerClick program to ‘boost’ their exposure on Google and be accepted and ‘ranked’ faster.

www.communati.com submitted the website to more than 3000 search engines, free, using www.webceo.com. Despite the ‘old’ search engine hype, this should only be done once or twice a year. They embarked on an article writing, forum promoting, and encouraging members to ‘put the word out.’ The inbound link campaign increased their Page Rank to PR4 within 5 months, an incredible feat.

Next, communati added social networking features like points and a chat. The important ‘trick’ to remember is that search engines give more rank to pages inside the website, not the index or home page. Building links to the home page is becoming a waste of time. Five articles with specific topics that contain high keywords, links to the rest of the ecommerce website, and ‘hooks’, will generate more PR than links to a buy now page, the index page, or a page with heavy images and graphics.

Marketing the Blog

All websites should include a blog. Not because a blog is necessary, or because people read them. The number one reason for putting up a blog is to increase keyword density, but keep in below the 5% ‘red flag’ level. It also generates dozens of extra content pages, increases the number of ‘in house’ links which are also important to increasing page rank.

A blog can also be submitted to blog directories. The best way to submit is using a service. When an Internet Marketing manager submits a blog to a directory, they must include a backward link. When they use a service they can submit to about 1000 directories without back links. The price ranges from $200 - $500. http://www.lazyurl.com/, http://www.submitcomfort.com/

One advantage of a blog is that it is submitted to the blog directories every time someone writes a new post. Web sites that are submitted more than 4 or 5 times a year may find themselves banned. However, a blog can ping the search engine several times a day without risk of being banned.

In turn, the blog search engines ‘ping’ the big search engines who give the ‘new’ content high page rank for the first few hours.

Marketing The Podcast

No podcast on your ecommerce website? Why? Submitting it to the podcast directories is another way to generate free exposure. The podcast only needs a few streaming or downloaded files to qualify. Podcasts can also be listed on dozens and dozens of free services, each building links to the main site, as well as increasing the exposure to the website. AmigoFish.com, Digg Podcasts , Podcast Pickle , http://podcasts.yahoo.com.

The most popular podcatcher software is iTunes, which is available as a free download from www.apple.com/itunes/download.

Promote Video

Does your product Appeal to younger people? Then load video at facebook, youtube, etc and then submit those videos. Don’t make a dry workshop or seminar style tutorial, but make it interesting. It is amazing how many younger people click in keywords, and then use the ‘search video only’ link to view relevant videos instead of reading articles.

The list continues. Submit your newsletter, forums, and chat directories. A single article can be submitted to more than 50 000 article submission ‘free content’ sites. No cost involved, except time, and the exposure will create a ripple effect sending your message farther across the web than a $100 000 SEO, traffic buying, and search engine submission campaign.


About The Author

Mark Walters is a third generation entrepreneur and author. He offers free training andinvesting videos designed to speed you towards financial independence at http://www.cashflowinstitute.com/videosignup.htm

Source: articlecity

Jazz Man

Written by: Robert O'Connor
Edited by: Kate Kliner
Joboja Staff Writers

Lift me, won’t you lift me above the old routine

The University of Minnesota-Twin Cities is divided into two campuses, one in northwest St. Paul and the other in northeast Minneapolis. During the school year, a free bus service runs between them every five to ten minutes, and it takes about a half hour to go from one end to the other. Of the many different bus drivers on this route, one speaks poetry on the loudspeaker that changes depending on the day of the week (“Fat frogs frolicking freely in the fog on Fridays”).

However, one stands out among the rest: Rob Thompson, known simply as the Jazz Man. Few people ask his name and barely anyone knows his real name, but the Jazz Man is a famous and beloved figure. And to accomplish this notoriety serving a campus of 100,000 students, faculty and staff, this is quite a feat. The Jazz Man acquired this nickname because for the past seven years, he has brought a boom box on the bus and plays jazz for the riders. He plays upbeat jazz in the afternoon and slower jazz in the evening. When the weather gets cold, he gets into some Latin to distract people.

Besides the music, he happily greets everyone who gets on and engages in friendly conversation with those in the front. If he recognizes you, he’ll honk his horn (always “shave and a haircut”) and wave at you as he drives by. All of this, he says, is done because he believes that jazz brings people together. He tried R&B and soul for a while, but says people really connected with jazz more than anything else.

He’s become such a beloved figure that a former student made a painting of a saxophone blowing the words “Jazz man” out of its horn. The painting hangs above the front door of his bus. When his bus went in for repairs, the Minnesota Daily ran a notice reassuring riders that he wasn’t gone. Daily advice columnist "Dr. Date" once wrote that saying you’re a fan of the Jazz Man "is a big turn-on for dates."

And there aren’t many drivers like Jazz Man in the Twin Cities. Many bus drivers greet you as you get on and off their bus, and every once in a blue moon you’ll run across one who talks to the bus and tries to get it to sing. But none of them have the fame or personality of the Jazz Man.

Of course, in many cities, the drivers don’t talk at all. They sit behind the change slot with an iron expression and a bulletproof window over them. A pre-recorded voice announces all of the stops, and neither the driver nor the canned voice says “good morning” when you get on or “have a good day” when you get off.

The Jazz Man says he wants to retire to Jamaica and run a jazz radio station down there, but for now, and for the better, he is brightening the day of thousands of people and helping to inspire a love for great music.

Internship Development Program at Disney

We know it takes knowledge, dedication and a little magic to build a successful business. As a PricewaterhouseCoopers intern, you will have the unique opportunity to experience the same curriculum that many CFOs and CEOs run through on an annual basis as part of the Disney Institute.

Participating interns will experience this world of magic when they travel to Walt Disney World Resorts for an inspiring curriculum tailored specifically to PwC’s innovative environment. During your time at Disney you will interact with PwC interns from across the country and the world. With PwC and the Disney Institute as your guides, you will experience a “living classroom,” an educational program like no other.

Join us in a world where professionals from two world-class organizations merge to create an unparalleled level of learning, development and personal enrichment.

Location:
Varies

Website/Contact Info:
http://www.pwc.com/extweb/career.nsf/docid/16F05B9164438575852571730026E782

Booz Allen Hamilton/William F. Stasior Internship

This program offers an opportunity for undergraduate students to gain experience with one of the world's leading global strategy and technology consulting firms.

Selected interns will be responsible for their local housing expenses. Applicants must be U.S. citizens or permanent residents and must complete an online application and provide a resume, faculty recommendation and Fall semester 2007 grades.

Eligible majors include: Engineering, Business, Finance, Economics, Mathematics, Information Systems, Computer Science/MIS, Computer Science, Psychology, Management.

Location:
Varies

Website/Contact Info:
www.uncf.org/forstudents/scholardetail.asp?Sch_ID=24

Internships At Aetna

At Aetna, we're looking for smart, energized people who are ready to make a difference in the working world. At Aetna, you'll find a richly diverse workforce — with employees of different races, ethnicities, life experiences and viewpoints.

Whether you are a student looking for a summer internship or a graduate looking for professional opportunities, Aetna has something for you.

Opportunities for students and recent graduates exist across all Aetna functions, offering meaningful work, in-depth training programs and best-in-class experience. Specific positions and requirements vary by area, but dedication and a passion for excellence are a must.

Location:
Varies

Website/Contact Info:
www.aetna.com/working/students/index.html