Off Season

Written by: Lisa Minns
Edited by Kate Kliner
Joboja Staff Writers

It’s that time of year again, Super Bowl is done and over with. No more football on Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays and the occasional Thursday. Some will call this the off-season. I call this the dating season. Now, you may be thinking that’s because all of the men who are normally glued to their tv’s watching football are now out and about doing things. Or you may think it means that I, as a woman, will no longer have to go to sports bars and act like I know what’s going on while watching a game. I’m sure you’ve all seen a few of these ladies. Eyes glazed over with a total look of boredom as they sip their drinks, eat their chicken wings and gab on their cell phones. They are there because they read or heard somewhere that going to a sports bar during a game is a good way to meet men. None of this is the case though with me. I call it the dating season because I’m the football fan. I’m the one glued to the tv every Sunday watching football and screaming at the players when they drop yet another perfect pass. You guessed it, I’m a Dolphins fan.

Now, most men call a girl who looks like a lady and yet loves sports their dream girl. Then they get one. It’s all great in the beginning. They tell their friends all about it and are so proud of her sports knowledge that they actually glow when she gets into a debate about stats and plays. Then the season starts. It’s cute at first. Go out to watch a few pre-season games. Show it off to their friends. Then the regular season starts. Then they realize that I’m not kidding when I laugh at the invitation to go somewhere on a Sunday between August and early February that doesn’t have a tv. What? Did they not check the calendar? Can we get home by 1 p.m.? There are six other days in the week. We can go there then. Or, bring a tv for me. I’ve also dated the ones who feel the need to try to have deep and meaningful conversations with me while a game is on. Why? Isn’t that what commercials and half-time are for? If it’s not about the game, we can talk in approximately three and a half hours. Give or take a play or two and any possible overtimes. I’m busy yelling at the tv….louder than you or any of your friends. Then there was also the guy I dated who swore to be a diehard fan of a team that shall remain nameless and yet couldn’t name one player on the team and never watched a game. His reasoning was that he “would rather play football than watch it on tv." Okay, that’s fine if you actually play but when you are thirty-something and your last experience playing was pee-wee football when you were about 10, that doesn’t make you a football player.

So, this is indeed the off-season for me. I go into withdrawal from my usual Sunday fix, continue to complain that there should be a support group for something like this, wait for training camp to start in July and pre-season to start in August and I date. I start my quest to find that guy who not only says he can wants a woman who loves sports but can handle it. I give them the cliff notes version of what I’m like during football season all summer long and see if they are still around come August. If so, I’ll watch a few pre-season games with them. See how they handle me dressing in team stuff to watch the games and the belief that if I yell loud enough, the players will actually hear me…and listen (they never do). Points to any man who not only is still around after all of this but is right there loving it all with me. I’d also like a man who has a favorite team, knows the players on that team and actually watches the games. I’m still looking for him. So, if there are any men out there who think that this sounds like a good deal, let me know. It’s not all one-sided either. I will get up and get you a drink…when I go for my next one and if I loose rock, paper, scissors, I will make the next ice and drink run. Fair is fair.

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